HONEY, HAVE YOU SEEN MY SHIRT?

I’m not sure what it is about being a wife and mother that also implies that we are the keeper of all things. That we have super human powers to be able to do everything, keep track of everything, find everything and remember everything. Who made these rules? I’ve checked the fine print of my contract and I cannot find these rules anywhere…

Somehow, not a day goes by without hearing:

“Honey? Have you seen my ___________?”

“Mom! Where are my shoes?”

“I don’t know where my gloves are, where did YOU put them?”

“Mmmmoooooommmmm! I don’t have any clothes!”
*This one is particularly humorous on the day after washing and folding 10 loads of laundry.*

I’ll reply with:

“Yes dear, they are in your drawer.”

“Right where you left them, in front of the sofa.”

I didn’t do anything with your gloves, maybe you should check your basket.”

“Have you looking in that mountainous pile of folded laundry next to your dresser?”

Last night for instance, my husband asked where his sweat pants were. I replied that I had folded them and they were on the chair. He informed me that they were not in the chair. That meant I was to search for them and bring them to him. I searched and searched and couldn’t find them. Then I get the “you’re crazy look” because if I cannot locate them, I must not have washed and folded them as I had claimed. Well….I found them this morning. They were in the boy’s room. One of my happy helpers had not listened to instructions and had taken the pile of clothing into the wrong room.

This morning I asked our 9-year-old to locate his hat and gloves, which have been missing all week. First he said that they must be at this Dad’s. I asked why he would have brought home one glove and not the other. He replied that they must be at school and that he would check the lost and found. He was then prepared to trot off to school without said hat and gloves. I denied his happy notion and looked in his basket for substitutes. Guess what I found? The long-lost hat and glove. Fancy that.

Our girls are always complaining that they do not have any clothes. This one always gets me. After repeated yelling on their part I will walk into their room and ask what they are looking for. Pants might me the item of the day. I’ll look around the room for a moment and then pull out 6 or more pairs of jeans in five seconds or less. They will reply with one or two things: 1) I didn’t see them there or the ever popular 2) not those jeans… Ugh, girls!

I try to keep the humor in things and often envision my family wondering about cold, tired and hungry…having gone five minutes without the care of their mother. Despite my best attempts, I will find myself wondering how they will fend for themselves when it appears everything I have taught them goes in one ear and out the other. Do they even listen to me? My husband does not help reinforce the warm fuzzy feelings as he is just as co-dependant on my services as they are. If you came to my house on a ‘slow” day you might find little old me entertaining myself by conducting little experiments around the house. I’ll pick up my husbands sweat pants off the floor, fold them and place them on the bed directly above where they once where. Just to see if he can locate them without my help. I’ll pick up books and toys and put them back in their proper places and watch to see how long it takes the children to relocate them. I’ll put away their coats, shoes or gloves and watch them run around the house claiming that they must have left them at so-and-so house or they must be at school or someone must have taken them. I often am accused of ‘loosing’ their belongings. It can be quite entertaining if you have the right mind-set. *Snicker*

 

How do you keep a positive mind-set in the endless search for missing things?

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